Ab initio

Here I'm again to say things which meant for every being...
I know its been long but what they says "its everyday a new day".
months of dilly delaying, doing nothing but just fool around can have grim effects on any being.

For me it was like long hibernation period... like an abandoned place get dingy and smell of cobwebs, my mind now complains of shit and rust.
for this time being I was being taken and broken into many a trusts.
something in me not sure of the real taste of love.
I tried to grasp the forbidden fruit but alas it was only forbidden and I was no good at being the cupids recruit.
all my enabling was to conquer their love and trust but the fate mired against me was fatal...left me in total disgust..
now I'm standing here holding the ever weakening flame of something that is called love.
alas a storm is inevitable... so here I'm musing on my options... Run for cover or let the flame vanquish.
for only I know its an agony whether it survive or not.
and in the end only I'll be there all lost and  no where to go,
for then there'll come the devil telling me I told you so.
A noble me, can't let this imp persist, will throw open there doors for some angel to descend
but oh my loony luck, the guiding angel in my stars is none other than this Cupid the Godly pornstar..
sparing all it'll give me deadly stung, his arrow and my hearty blood.
it will nosh me to someone's lust again,
just hoping to survive again.